The underwear rule

Last night’s ‘Law and Order UK’ was excellent as usual. It dealt with the respectable husband who first abused his own daughter and then ended up killing her best friend a boy from the neighbourhood.

Law and Order UK is staffed by top knotch actor with Bradley Walsh in the lead and is a very compacted one-hour program, which explains the crime, the investigation and the trial. Brilliantly made and very important messages in the films.

The program is on at 22:00 weekdays and I can’t find it on the ITV player listed. It’s well worth dropping everything just to watch this live on ITV as it is on tele.

Yesteray’s episodes dealth with abuse from within the family and/or close neighbours. This type of abuse doesn’t get talked about a lot. Many people – including me – don’t even realise that they are being abused because it is a trusted family member or close friend and because we want to keep that feeling of Being Family alive in our minds. We tend to brush away all doubts to stay positive towards our family.

The family concept gets pushed a lot by various organisations these days as being part of a family seems to be the most desired goal in life for many.

In yesterday’s episode the surviving abused child took over 20 years to realised that she had been abused and then only under some sort of hypnosis, that is how strong the feeling was. The case was only investigated because the murdered body of a victim had been found 20 years later.

My recognition took longer. I must say, I was never abused by my dad but I was abused by my sister who had me sexed by a man and made me watch her own sexual conduct; What happend physically was 50 years ago and nobody got murdered and psychological abuse took place over the years.

I was a victim of a chain-reaction of abuse. My sister was abused by my dad and they had an incesteous relationship. This drove my mother into suicide. My sister was never able to build normal relationships with men and to this day is unable to talk about things and she keeps on being horrible to me. This all took me a life-time to find out.

It digs itself into the sub-conscience and I didn’t realise how much the events actually formed my life and decision-making process over the years.

Of course all events are very ancient and no police force would investigate it without further evidence of a crime. Such soft cases do not bring any results with police unless it has public appeal like the #MeToo# movement had, which involved very prominent actors.

action activity boy children

Photo by Lukas on Pexels.com

I think not enough is done to make people aware of soft abuse in family and friends. We have the ‘underwear rule’ being taught to pupils these days, that is about the only measure being taken by schools these days. We didn’t have any awareness campaign when I was a kid.

Much more needs to be done to make children aware of abuse from family and friends. More people need to write and publish about the issue so that kids can find those stories on the internet and learn from them.

 

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