The underwear rule

Last night’s ‘Law and Order UK’ was excellent as usual. It dealt with the respectable husband who first abused his own daughter and then ended up killing her best friend a boy from the neighbourhood.

Law and Order UK is staffed by top knotch actor with Bradley Walsh in the lead and is a very compacted one-hour program, which explains the crime, the investigation and the trial. Brilliantly made and very important messages in the films.

The program is on at 22:00 weekdays and I can’t find it on the ITV player listed. It’s well worth dropping everything just to watch this live on ITV as it is on tele.

Yesteray’s episodes dealth with abuse from within the family and/or close neighbours. This type of abuse doesn’t get talked about a lot. Many people – including me – don’t even realise that they are being abused because it is a trusted family member or close friend and because we want to keep that feeling of Being Family alive in our minds. We tend to brush away all doubts to stay positive towards our family.

The family concept gets pushed a lot by various organisations these days as being part of a family seems to be the most desired goal in life for many.

In yesterday’s episode the surviving abused child took over 20 years to realised that she had been abused and then only under some sort of hypnosis, that is how strong the feeling was. The case was only investigated because the murdered body of a victim had been found 20 years later.

My recognition took longer. I must say, I was never abused by my dad but I was abused by my sister who had me sexed by a man and made me watch her own sexual conduct; What happend physically was 50 years ago and nobody got murdered and psychological abuse took place over the years.

I was a victim of a chain-reaction of abuse. My sister was abused by my dad and they had an incesteous relationship. This drove my mother into suicide. My sister was never able to build normal relationships with men and to this day is unable to talk about things and she keeps on being horrible to me. This all took me a life-time to find out.

It digs itself into the sub-conscience and I didn’t realise how much the events actually formed my life and decision-making process over the years.

Of course all events are very ancient and no police force would investigate it without further evidence of a crime. Such soft cases do not bring any results with police unless it has public appeal like the #MeToo# movement had, which involved very prominent actors.

action activity boy children

Photo by Lukas on

I think not enough is done to make people aware of soft abuse in family and friends. We have the ‘underwear rule’ being taught to pupils these days, that is about the only measure being taken by schools these days. We didn’t have any awareness campaign when I was a kid.

Much more needs to be done to make children aware of abuse from family and friends. More people need to write and publish about the issue so that kids can find those stories on the internet and learn from them.


self-esteem and inheritance

Watched ‘Rambo, last blood’ last night and the story is not dissimilar to a story line inthe Sinner where Cora Tannetti gets kidnapped drugged and abused. In the Sinner it was to make Cora forget that she saw a murder but in Rambo it was a prostitution racket.

Apparently Rambo’s adopted daughter had everything going for her, she had a big house, her own car and was about to start university when she asked a ‘friend’ to find out where her natural father lived.

people gathered inside house sitting on sofa

Photo by Daria Shevtsova on

This desire to meet birth parents is the worst irrational emotional mistake a child can make. I still have not found out why they even would want to do it.

Perhaps it has to do with hearing friends talking about mums and dads. Many kids are adopted and do not know they were but it’s just the atmosphere the problems the adoptive parents themselves have between them and the conversations children overhear that make them wonder whether that birth parent is the path out of all problems.

Baby-boomers of the 80s are replaced now with rich parents who can afford to pay for surrogacy. That new generation of surrogate babies will grow up and will find out that they have been bought.

I saw a lot of films and documentaries dealing with the problems it caused when children suddenly found out that they are not actually the natural children of the people they live with.

Anyhow the birth father of Rambo’s daughter was not the least bit interested in the child, which then ended in tears for her and the suggestion by her friend to go to a fun evening to a night-club, where she was drugged immediately and put on heroin and put into a pool of prostitutes. All the girls were made dependant on regular heroin injections to keep them on the job. Threats of getting them killed kept them in their place.

The effort men make to have regular intercourse. They stop at nothing. Those bordellos are hotbeds for germs and diseases.

It is up to the society to make the rules and to ensure that nobody gets enslaved into any type of trade. A society is only as good as it’s weakest member. If the politicians allow slavery and exploitation to happen then it will.

Rambo of course managed to kill a whole army of drug dealers by himself, though his daughter was in her grave by that time already.

I do not understand why he drove her in the car and did not bring her to a doctor first thing after freeing her from the drug pushers. She died on the way home, having been filled with drugs. I reckon a hospital bed could have saved her.

But then I suppose he was more interested in his own ego being bruised. In the end the fight between him and the crime brothers was just about themselves, to see who was stronger.

I reckon every parent feels deceived if kids just run off and drop out of the chosen path for them.

I think how many years I put into caring for my children. In the end, there is nothing else to do but to try and care for off-spring. Therefore it is now better that women get encouraged to get jobs whilst also being mothers. Because there is something else to do but looking after the little ones.

Parents easily get sucked into the caring pose and promptly get exploited by children who ask for those extra treats to keep them happy.

But parents who also have jobs are probably better equipped to stave off lazy kids who just want to have an easy ride.

Most importantly adoptive parents should always tell their children that they are adopted or otherwise acquired. The reality of knowing the facts helps a lot if things come to a crunch. Because not even the relationships of adoptive parents are guaranteed never to go wrong. What if the arguments set in and the adopted kids get exposed to the quarrels of the parents later on?

Ideally children need to get the ability to work out their path into live on a rational basis. Any type of emotional trauma only serves them wrong.

I think those parent-child relationships whereby all work together on a family business probably have the best chance of success for longivity. What often keeps kids friendly with parents is the prospect of inheriting the house. I really think that inheritance laws should change in that relatives should not have an automatic right to inherit because they are some document like a birth certificate or related through marriage.

Unless a person specifically names a person as beneficiary of a will, anybody who has no actual connection to a person should not be able to inherit the property or money. I see those heir hunters who try to find long lost relatives to inherit. That should go to charity instead because the long lost relative is actually like any other stranger to the deceased.

It’s all about building relationships.



We support faith schools in general

Faiths and Faiths can be quite different. Whilst it is known that in England alone, 2.000 suspected child victims were identified, yet that is only the tip of the iceberg and the real figure may be much higher. Victims can suffer abuse because of exorcism, violence against witches and of course FGM plays a major part.

Whilst our home-grown faiths like Church of England, Methodists, Catholics all work hard to expel child abuse and whilst our domestic laws outlaw even parental violence against children like smacking, some foreign religions bring their bad habits to Britain when they immigrate.

Our laws make no distinction between faith schools. That is the problem with our non discrimination laws. We do not discriminate against bad practises but accept anything.

We then only deal with problems as they arise. Once the problems have arisen, the child has already suffered or is dead.

I have seen a film about Africa where a child is expelled from the family, declared a witch and left to starve to death in the street unless the begging child finds doners. Victoria Climbie died aged 8 after sustained torture and abuse from her aunt  here in Britain. She was accused of being obsessed by evil spirits and starved to death.

Children are often targeted for abuse because of financial problems in the family. We used to publicly flog people in the streets hundreds of years ago but other countries are still in that phase of social development and bring those beliefs with them.

As a society we either stop having faith schools or we allow only schools with faith associated and fully acceptable to our social norms.



Against brothels

What I really hate is legalised prostitution. Having to sell your body is just about the one thing that people must not be forced to do. My biggest fear of Germany is that prostitution is legalised in that country and that is why I would never have had children in that country I suppose.

You just imagine, you send your kid to school and then, once they finished education, they get a letter from the Department of Employment telling them to go for an interview in a brothel and if they do not attend, they loose their entitlement to unemployment benefit.

How horrible is that!!!

Because if sex work is a legalised activity, then children will be groomed into the profession from a very young age, as it is already happening in India, where girls as young as 7 get prepared into sex work. Further up in Asia they sell girls from the age of 7 into marriage, a similar slave trait.

Personal freedom must be that the one bastion that is us, must be our body. Just as our home is our castle, so our bodies have to be our first priority to choose what we want to do with it or not.

We have some very good personal protection laws in Britain and we have to be careful not to overstep the mark and loose the right to protect our bodies from harm.

So being against Brexit doesn’t mean that I would want to accept German employment laws, I am only in it for the close proximity of land mass.

I have not heard much about that point in for or against Brexit discussions.



Child Exploitation taking place all over the country

I am very worried by a report I picked up from the BBC website today in which there is a warning that child exploitation is taking place all over the country, a warning made by a committee of MP’s.

A report from the Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre warns that Internet images of child abuse are becoming more extreme and sadistic. It is thought that those who download such images are very likely to attack children.

Yet it is quite clearly equally shocking that the Secretary of State supports the cutting off from unemployment benefits of young mothers with young children once they have been forced to change from Income Support to Job Seekers Allowance for the most trivial reasons.

For example a mothers child might be ill and she is unable to look for work as required by her DWP contract and then when the woman signs on, as under the new rules, she has to learn that her Unemployment Benefit is suspended, pending an investigation.

The mother, who is often single will miss out on £130 of fortnightly payment. Mothers are usually never given the advice sheet that says they can continue to get their benefit under hardship rules and even then it takes extra long to get the money, that they would be entitled to if they were still on income support automatically.

The Secretary of State supports that policy and encourages it to happen because letters that then refer mothers to a work programme are signed by him.

Parent coordinators in local schools often come across distressed mothers that have no food and have to be referred to local food banks, which have been set up by mostly church run charities.

This government supports in my view that vulnerable mothers fall victim to scrupulous exploitation and puts innocent children at risk of exploitation. Even as Neighbourhood Watch coordinator I am deeply concerned about this practise that cuts mothers with young children off from their regular income very suddenly and it often takes a long time to get any help.

In my case I was told that I did not do enough to find work when I was funded to organise a Queen’s Jubilee Party in the weeks preceding the period where I forgot to fill in writing a job search sheet and although I gave a verbal account of my job search, the DWP advisor threatened to have me removed by security just because I used the word ridiculous. I have a small child but luckily I am too experienced and wise to ever allow that child to get in any type of danger but there are many mothers out there who might be vulnerable with little knowledge how to deal with such situations.

In another BBC report Ian Duncan Smith, the Works and Pensions Secretary,  is reported as saying: “Of course money is important and will always play a part in future measurements of poverty. But increased income from welfare transfers is temporary if nothing changes,”. Yet Ian Duncan Smith is directly responsible for the withdrawal of benefit that afflicts so many mothers with children and helps to put them at risk.


The moral fibre of society

I think that a lot is at stake to keep our society functioning well and the latest shocking revelation about inter-marital affairs make me doubt what I believed in. I am so surprised that the people I thought most decent and old-fashioned almost have now come out to break fundamental rules of moral standards.

There is no point in hiding this from the media as it gnaws on the most fundamental corner stones of our society and threatens a breakdown in public morals if leaders of the community, folk heroes, break the normal rules of decency and moral standards. It doesn’t help to keep it all a secret because such secrets always come out in the end and in fact it is very harmful if secret sex lives can remain secret in privacy injunctions because it will help and aid the sexual abuse of children. Often sex abusers use the “secret” code to abuse children and if the prominent figures of today can use secrecy laws to have secret sex lives then this will endorse sex abusers using the mantle of secrecy with underage victims.

I ask myself does high-profile living and/or lots of money alter the sex drive of people so that they cannot cope with the fame any longer or is it just carelessness and jobbish behaviour of some individuals? I can’t answer this because I have never been in that position but feel that something has to be done about it.

Obviously not even the most money can ever put away indecency and bad morals, this will simply not be forgotten and remain with a family for generations to come. In most cases one doesn’t end in just one incident but bad behaviour becomes the norm and settles in until it comes to breaking point and then the sheer amount of abuse of public morals will swamp the unsuspecting readers of the tabloid press.

Unfortunately personal morals are not standard in employment contracts with the famous but I think they should be, so to speak that personal behaviour cannot damage the reputation of the employer or something of that sort. Maybe some people have just gotten too much money and cannot cope with this. I think it cannot be easy to be in charge of lots of money every week AND keep abreast of personal behaviour.  Maybe there should be more advice available for rich people on how to cope with money without losing morals or something.

When I now think how much less punishment is handed out for sex offenders and how rich people appear again and again in the media over allegations to do with sexual implications, I wonder whether the government shouldn’t do more to lay down the law and enforce a stricter code of conduct and punishment for sexual demeanor.

It cannot be the purpose of the pricacy laws to protect immoral conduct because it does not protect a person’s private family life if things that go on outside of the family and impact on the whole of society are reported about.

Prime Minister is on the ball

And again, David Cameron shows leadership when he says that a minister must have the ultimate power to sack employees of a service as he, the minister is in charge of the service.  David Cameron criticises a ruling, in which Sharon Shoesmith wins her case on unfair dismissal. She had learned from TV that she had been sacked.

Isn’t it the nature of sudden events that they can harbour also sudden sackings? It is a clause in almost every employment contract that sacking can occur spontaneously under certain circumstances.

This is not the first time that David Cameron has queried the powers of judges. The other occasion were the privacy rulings of late, whereby prominent persons can have a secret double life, protected by the law.

It almost seems as if the law wants to protect social workers who protect child killers. Sharon Shoesmith is quoted as saying: “You cannot stop the death of children”. This is an astonishing statement from someone whose job it is to save children and protect them from harm. equally perplexing is Sharon Shoesmith’s statement that it was really Ed Balls who brought the Social Work Department into malfunctioning by sacking her instead of admitting that her department had been in disarray all along.

I just wonder where it all goes wrong in Mrs Shoesmith’s mind, that mind that thinks that children die anyhow. Does the woman even belief that Social Workers can do any good at all? I am asking myself why did she want her job back if she beliefs that children die in any case?

Again I would like to strengthen my call for a better qualification structure for Social Workers, who should have to go through much tougher qualifications, which are standardised and are to the highest expectations.

Clarke looks a softie, is he soft in the head?

Even though Lord Justice Thomas ruled against me in my permission to appeal application, I must agree with him on his stance against Ken Clarke’s ideas to introduce American style plea bargaining for all sorts of crimes.

How easy would it be for repeat offenders to get off time after time just because they plead guilty early enough. The streets would be littered with rapists and women could not walk around without fear.

If  the rapists’ plea bargaining was accompanied by some sort of surgery to castrate such offenders then I would agree to early release but as it is, men who rape women cannot control their bodily functions, their chemistry and just “have to rape”, they cannot control their sexuality. A combination of plea bargening and medical treatment would make trials cheaper and help save women the agony of having to go through lengthy trials to prove their innocence.

Certainly Mr Clarke’s policies would keep police forces busy and force an increase in the police numbers when the government just wants to reduce the amount of police officers on our streets.

Frankly I am very disappointed about my own party’s approach to safety and security of our communities, our country. Yes it is correct that it is better to fight the sources of crime but just releasing criminals early because they plead guilty just allows them to repeat the offence earlier.  Using therapy costs huge amounts of money and unless there is a quick physical solution like castration it would just increase the amount of sex offences. Germany for example offers child sex offenders to have themselves castrated so they escape a sentence but here in Britain, Clarke just wants to set them loose on our communities.

A government has to protect the rights of individuals and the population and do so cost-effective. We all want a better quality of life and allowing criminals to re-offend more often does not improve anything for anybody but just increases crime and costs.

Failing for protecting from abuse

I think that it is an excellent development that victims of abuse can now sue local authorities when their social services failed to protect children for example from abuse, as this BBC article reports. This is about social services not removing children from homes whereby they are abused by their parents or persons in their homes.

Yet that can only happen if the abused, in most cases probably children, become old enough and survive the abuse. In many cases, when it is about small children, they often enough end up dead and cannot bring a case. It is disturbing though, and it seems to be a grey area and hole in the law, that when parents abuse so much that a child dies, that then only the killers of the child, often the parents get held responsible and end up in jail on long prison terms. That is especially questionable when the killers are parents of limited intellect or even severely handicapped with IQ’s below 70. That is what the Americans would still call mentally retarded. The UK gotten rid of that classification in a fashion up-date of UK political correctness.

I think that this must be addressed. That it is predictable that vulnerable adults can easily be manipulated into doing the wrong thing. Yet it is extremely hard to proof that a vulnerable person was manipulated into doing the wrong thing, so that an accountable service, in this case the social services cannot be held responsible for the wrong-doing of the vulnerable adult.

Yet what the cases of victims of abuse in the home show, is that they can sue for not being rescued from an abusive home. Yet we know of many other instances when care providers themselves where sued for abuse taking place within the care home or other caring institutions. For example the Catholic church went through scores of abuse allegations and had to settle at a very high price.

Despite this up-beat in human rights for minors, we still hear cranky politicians ask for more corporal punishment to discipline children better. I think that is the one policy for which I admire Labour, is the introduction of a law that makes corporal punishment child abuse. Because it is the very fact that children are treated with respect that turns them into happier adults and less likely to become criminals. Often corporal punishment prevents victims of abuse to speak out because they are punished if they fall out of line so to speak. Odd behaviour is often enough a sign of abuse but not always.

In conclusion I would like to repeat my demand to make social services more accountable by introducing strict qualification requirements, so that all social workers have to go through years of training and not just become social workers because they cannot get another job. They need to become professionally trained and to a standard that is immediately recognisable. These days you get so many odd social workers and when you enquire what their qualifications are, you get the answer its a secret and protected under the Data Protection Act. Yet with doctors and nurses you know exactly what type of qualifications they have to pass to be able to practise.

Therefore I think it would be better all around if Social Workers came under NHS instead of councils because then they would fall under a category to do with the Hippocratic oath, promising care for each individual. Social Services have been pushed into a very bad position when it is more convenient for them to end up with dead child victims because then  Social Services cannot be prosecuted for the crime rather than living children who can sue them for failing to protect them. Yet the Baby P case led to the sacking of Social Workers, which is only one good but small step into the right direction. Yet those problems have been caused by the ‘Care in the Community’ system that allows all persons to reside within the community, cared for by family members or friends.

Often abusive carers/parents suffer from complex mental conditions that may include neurosis, low intellect, other learning disabilities, compulsive or clinical conditions in social settings are hard to detect for people not trained in the many conditions that are apparent in people today. We even occasionally find that the so-called ‘respected members of our community’ turn out to be ‘faulty’.

We have read about it frequently how difficult parents find it to sterilise severely disabled woman who cannot possibly care for children, they could have. Yet we not only have to look at the Human Rights issue but also at the cost issue because it is extremely expensive to allow inadequate parents to care for children, when those inadequate parents needs caring for themselves.

One good step was the introduction of a benefit ceiling, so that people are prevented from having countless numbers of children, whereby each indidvidual gets less attention and care from their parents and often parents are unable to provide adequate supervision for their off-spring.

Down the Hatch

Child killer Colin Hatch has been murdered in prison. This BBC story tells the gruesome circumstances of that killer’s conviction and it is very sad that the justice system failed to send that man to Broadmoor because he was thought not dangerous enough. How dangerous can one be who systematically abuses and kills little boys. Again, here we see that society does not think that children need better protection from child killers.

It is therefore one of those unusual cases where criminals amongst themselves have taken the law into their own hands and delivered rough justice. I do  not want to see lynch mobs running our land but would want to see more responsible jailing decisions to keep society save and stop criminals to strike again,when that can be prevented.  Still what many justice officials and especially those on parol boards do not understand is that many criminals know exactly what they have to say and how they have to act to appear pleasing to assessors but then go on to kill.

If Justice disciplines the killer of Colin Hatch with severe punishment and sets a precedence to show that criminals that kill almost certain child killers will be severly punished that will send a shock wave around the country.

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