Morals as fashion item

Morals really are the fashion of the times and rules of ‘acceptable’ morals are usually set by the ruling classes.

For centuries morals were dictated by biblical terms. The permanent marriage between man and woman were promoted by Christians and Muslims.

The inability to fit in with the requirements to marry and have kids and stay in that relationship for live brought on many social complications. Those fancying the same sex partners for example or those needing gender changes because somebody important wanted them in another role rather than their traditional marriage commitments.

It’s often not quite apparent that the ruling classes make the rules. At the moment Western society moves away from fixed matrimony. Because top-society people feel better in equal relationships all our laws are now changing towards equality all around.

Women can now have kids and work. That of course gives men a much better chance to pick new partners and change more often.

In the past, when women were tied to their homes, men found it harder to get good quality new partners. They either had the marital sex or had to look for paid for girls. But now, when they have a big playing field in the work-place to choose from, that latter option becomes more obsolete, though not completely unimportant.

And the desire for changing partners is not just led by men, woman are also supporting that option.

I just don’t understand why women find that necessarily ideal.

Heinz-soldierLooking at my own dad. He was the kind of guy who liked women but he liked the feeble, nimble and pretty type. He didn’t like the child-bearing obligations a lot. The detective Lauri, in the Deadwind series I am currently watching on Netflix, reminds me of my dad a lot, they even look very similar. My dad was a very good-looking guy.

Unfortunately for him, he was sent to Norway by the Nazis and had to work with heavy water and that kind of messed up his sperm. There is almost nothing more embarassing in Britain today than having a relative who once wore a Nazi uniform. Just realise my dad’s dog looks a bit like the pooch that the detective, played by Neil Dudgeon , in Midsommer Murders has.

But also the relationship that Karppi has with her son, whose become a bully at school and Karppi, telling him that she will always support him. There I am doubting how far that support can go as with detectives, they naturally need to keep the law. Lauri broke off his relationship to his drug-addicted girlfriend because he could not have had a friend with drugs staying at his flat.

Lauri says he never wants to be a father to a child but now has become a father but he also kissed Karppi with the two children.

Men are sometimes mixed up about relationships and obligations.

So women now can decide to have abortions. I have had two myself because at the time I thought that the quality of life those two babies would have had was too low as they were conceived on the move. I had moved out from home, was couch surving and not fixed for a career. I wanted to be married at least and that’s what I did. Actually I did not want to have children at all at first.

So now we come again to family allegiance. And this law and order hinge makes a good case of how much allegiance you actually can and should have to your family, if they for example are breaking the law. Would it not destroy your life if you supported family members, just because you were born in a crime family?

Equally family secrets can totally mess a person up. My advice is don’t have them, so nobody can blackmail you.

If you support your kids when they do wrong, it does not help them to see the error of their ways. They get encouraged more in their wrong-doing than to do the right thing.

 

 

the young people of tomorrow

protest-bannerTower Hamlets is doing its best to close down public services like schooling for children. There are various applications in the council to close and amalgamate schools.

A recent TV report claimed that Tower Hamlets moves homeless families up north but that the councils there do not get informed of the new arrivals. So if they don’t know how can they make enough school provision?

Incidentally when my daughter had been homeless – because her violent partner had smashed up her flat – we went to Westminster and Chelsea council and they said they send their homeless to Tower Hamlets.

Moving on is the motto these days. The poor working classes are moved on relentless and getting a secure tenancy is like gold dust.

Children will become much more flexible in their approach because they need to take in that education whilst they get it. When I was young we used to have the same teachers in the same schools for life but now it’s constantly new teachers and constantly moving on.

People are strongly discouraged now to have kids whilst on benefits but only a few decades ago, women were encouraged to stay at home and have kids.

Those kids born in the 80s needed a lot of schools. Now, with benefits being cut and employment encouraged for all genders, the amount of schools needed is reduced.

But with the large increase of an older population, who is going to keep the country going if not the young people of tomorrow?

I think this government is playing with this country as every country needs a strong younger generation to carry the flag.

Whilst people with jobs like Boris Johnson can father various children with various women, those on low incomes can hardly afford one child. But then if a richer guy fathers various children with different women, the sheer amount of maintenance will reduce the quality of life for all of them.

I know because one of my daughters has two children with a guy who also has two other women who have his children.

Those changes in the set-up of standards will greatly affect the nation. On one hand, we’ve got the Royal Family cast in stone. Permanent marriages with permanent partners and on the other hand we got – the Prime Minister included – the folks who constantly change partners and have kids with whoever they meet.

On top of that are children borne from surrogacies.

For a grandparent like myself, that priviledge now only exists on paper because with constantly changing relationships the amount of various children from various partners all make a great big mix, which I did not sign up for and I doubt that most grandparents can afford to maintain gifts to all those extended families over a long period of time.

 

Where is the love?

photo of baby breastfeeding

Photo by Cleyder Duque on Pexels.com

Could not help chuckling pleasingly when Camilla Parker-Bowles announced that she looks forward to hugging her grandchildren.

Good on her. I suppose it is easy to get to know the grandchildren when their parents actually involve the grandparents into the process, e.g. like

  • getting to know partners of children prior to marriage or conception of grandchildren
  • regular visits
  • communications that are meaningful
  • Family of grandchildren live a meaningful lifestyle and are responsible.

I hardly see any of my grandchildren. I have not met my daughter’s partners prior to them moving in together. I have not been involved in the process of decision-making, e.g. what is best for the child.

Nowadays the modern families change quickly, e.g. partners change, the family set-up is no longer the same as it was, but, people really need to communicate to keep family members up to speed, so that all know what is going on.

I would not even want to dictate what kind of a family my daughters want to form but it would be good to be kept informed and be involved.

I would want to see that my daughters make responsible decisions. Like

  • Have they got housing
  • Do they have an income
  • Are there plans to improve the quality of life and how
  • Do they raise their children positively
  • How safe is the relationship they are in? Do I approve of the partner?
  • Will they keep me up-to-date with developments e.g. pregnancy, childbirth, getting to know the grandchild.

Unfortunately I had non of this. Some of my grandchildren live in Wales and I am not allowed to see them because my daughter there is afraid I could get social services involved.

Some of my grandchildren live in Scotland but my daughter didn’t introduce me to her partner until the day she moved out. I then went to visit in Scotland and had to ring the council there because their whole communal backyard was filled with rubbish bags. I went to visit a couple of times but since then my daughter split up with her partner and now replaced him with a snake and a dog.

I hardly get to see the kids. They do not contact me via Facetime or any other form of chatting to talk and get to know each other.

Some of my grandchildren live in London and I have not even known that my daughter decided to break up with the partner of her first son. My daughter then gotten into deep trouble with domestic violence with another partner. The latest new partner I did meet occasionally but he has changed beyound recognition since I first met him. He used to wear neat suits and looked like he jumped straight out of a dressmaker’s window. Now he wears tracksuits and sports a liberal beard.

I had not met my newer granddaughter till my daughter suddenly announced they are coming round for Christmas and of course they expected presents.

I made everything nice but the grandchild was very much afraid of me because she had never met me. The last time I met her she only spoke to me when I asked her what gifts she wanted for Christmas.

Otherwise I received abusive and threatening phonecalls from my daughter.

From that I can deduct that breastfeeding and not smacking children doesn’t make them more sensible. My youngest daughter is the only child I breastfed for a long period of time and one of my children, which I never smacked. Yet, I get insulting phonecalls.

I think the concept of grandparent needs some involvement so that everybody is on the same page. Grandparents are not just gift suspenders whenever people think they would want to come round to collect them.

I think that grandparents should means-test their gifting. And not just give because somebody has a grandparents on a birth certificate somewhere.

 

 

Education v. Emotion

I finally cracked the mystery of my life. Since I’ve received by first death threat, I am reminiscent of the history of events that led to this point.

If you look through this blog, I’d received a fair amount of banter and sheer bullying abuse from people over the years but never a death threat.

I received abuse over remarks I made to  family members about improving ones chances in life with extra education and re-doing GCSE and A-levels would improve employment prospects. Another remark that a grandchild of mine would be better off with his dad then culminated in an actual death threat. Yes, I reported that to police and gotten a crime number. I do not tolerate any type of threatening behaviour from anyone and especially not from family members or my own children.

As soon as I had become a LEA school governor people started to dig out dirt, wrote about an ancient arrest in the 70s in Germany. It’s all been recorded in this blog.

Yet, it is explained in the simple fact that as soon as serious education comes into play people suddenly start to react over-emotional.

Some questions I needed to answer for myself were:

  1. why didn’t I attend university when it was free of charge in Germany
  2. why did I get married to a man I hardly knew

Those are the most important questions and I shall answer them.

To 1. It is a very long story. I did not attend university and dropped out of education because the events in my family, which happened whilst I was young, were so disturbing that it led to my temporary downfall and demise.

The case is that when I was 7 I suddenly started to develop scoliosis and it went very badly quite rapidly. Thanks to my father’s private medical insurance I received intense treatment, which then eventually culminated in 2 operatoins when I was age 14 to straighten my spine.

Prior to that my mother – who worked as a telephonist at the local hospital in Wuerzburg – had become an alcoholic. She attempted suicide several times and at one occasion I found her hanging on the living room cupboard upon my return from school. All this was enough to send me over the edge and I started to attend local discos and my learning started to suffer.

I had excellent grades in Elementary school and was top of the class, I had become champion in mental arithmetic but then when my mother started drinking, I dropped out of the results and had to repeat a year because I went to a grammar school teaching business and economics. My results there weren’t fantastic and I lost my desire to educate further.

Though I eventually started Higher Education in an Engineering College in Cologne as the only woman there. But without any emotional or financial support from my family I soon fell off the planned track.

My family was a mystery to me. Nobody seemed to talk to each other, there was little emotion and no loving atmosphere. My mother finally apparently committed suicide. On an evening when both my father and my sister and I went out, my mother went to the local River Main in Wuerzburg and she was found drowned the next day.

For years and years I never understood why my mother, who was always very caring friendly and totally rational suddenly went over the edge and became an alcoholic and why my sister seemed so distant and my father so very cold. Understand this happened in the 60s.

Just prior to my fathers death – I already had been in London since 1977 – I learned that my sister actually had a sexual relationship with my father. She admitted it to me personally when I went to Wuerzburg for my dad’s funeral. My sister refused to attend the funeral because my step-mother attended but she came to see me the next morning and I asked her straight up and she admitted having had an affair with my father. My only explanation is that this is the reason why my mother started to drink because she found out about this.

It is more than unfortunate that this had not been reported to the police at the time and if it was I wasn’t told about it.

We had lived in a house in Wuerzburg in the second floor and my sister moved out of the home and gotten a flat in the fourth floor of the same house. My sister called me a cripple because of my scoliosis and told me never to have children. My sister is still alive today but we have no contact. I sent her a Christmas Card a few years ago and it was returned by the Post Office marked refused.

Over the years my sister treated me like dirt because I married the man I had my children with and she attacked me for having had those children and refused to support me in any way whatsoever.

That brings me to point 2. why I got married to the man I didn’t know.

I was in an emotional volative state of mind. I lived in Cologne, attended school and had a part-time job at the Otto Versand but emotionally I was a wreck. All those unexplained emotionally shocking events in my past, the lack of family support drove me to act irrationally.

I met a man who said he was working for the famous writer Guenther Wallraff and the man asked me whether I could help him type a book for the author. I said I could do it but would not be able to it in my flat but suggested we go to London instead for a few days as I knew a friend there. Suddenly there were money problems and I agreed to take out a loan to bridge costs. You know where this is going. Once in London the guy disappeared, the 3.000 Deutsch mark disappeared and I was crushed, ruined and totally fed up. Apparently Guenther Wallraff was interviewed by police about this but he said he had nothing to do with this whatsoever.

The guy who apparently took my money and disappeared with it was later found dead and a murder investigation ensued. The police was dealing with this and I was greateful that Deutsche Bank let me off from having to repay that 3.000 Deutsch mark loan.

However I was completely paralysed by yet another strange occurance in my life. Whilst I had the flat in Cologne waiting for me, I just could not bring myself to go back. I met my husband in a pub and fell head over heel in love. I had found a job at the BBC German service but had nowhere to live in London.

Longfellow-party

Street pary in Longfellow Road, I lived at no 36 for some time until the whole road gotten torn down and I became a council tenant.

My husband was squatting in the famous Longfellow Road and I thought that was very romantic. Literally my brain completely stopped working, probably because of the sudden hormone over-drive I found myself in.

I insisted on getting married and had no bigger wish than having children with the man I loved. There now followed 15 years of hardship and poverty. I spent my later inheritance before I even got it but repaid all my debts once the inheritance arrived from Germany.

Now five children later I actually also have around 10 grandchildren. I have no contact with many of them. All those grandchildren were born by my daughters, my sons, went on to get jobs and approached life in a more rational manner.

Whilst I raised my kids I bought them a lot of books because I loved books. As a child I read hundreds of books. I opened up my own private library as the school didn’t have one. I borrowed books to poorer pupils who could not afford them.

Unfortunately my husband turned out to be the uneducated type. In fact he had no interest in education or reading whatsoever. That was one major contributing factor to me getting a divorce eventually. We had many arguments over life-style choices and attitutes.

The only achievement he had was being an extra in the film Fightclub. He worked as volunteer in his later years up to his death from cancer. He was never violent towards me and for that I am thankful. He probably only married me because I worked for the BBC and he loved films.

I have had 3 daughters and 2 sons from that marriage. I became naturalised and eventually a British Citizen. There was no support from my German family and especially not from my sister. My father sent birthday and Christmas cards and visited a couple of times and that was it. The rest of my family didn’t want to know.

I eventually took my sons to meet my German cousin in the remote village he lives in in Unterfranken a few years ago, so just that my sons know where I come from.

I have become completely estranged to my daughters now. All of them decided to bunk off school in the latter stages of their education and follow their father’s life philosophy. My daughters mixed up with partners but I had no say in their choices.

My second oldest daughter was born with a severe learning disability, which was – in my opinion – due to negligence during the home birth assistance. Her brain was starved of oxygen as the birth was delayed due to a sleeping pill I had been given by the midwife. Instead of delivering the baby late at night.

Unfortunately she was never given a statement of special educational needs and so her learning disabilty was never formally diagnosed until she finished with secondary education. She was found to have a mental age of a 9 year old and an IQ of 64. She never understood the purpose of education and schools just ignored her needs. I went to lawyers about this but legal action was denied as viable by a barrister because no statement of special educational needs was ever issued.

Yet this undiagnosed learning disability caused the whole family enormous problems.

I needed to care for her and worked from home for years, even starting my own company.

Nowadays children are much better off, they get Statements of Special Educational needs and lots of extra support but we had to do without.

My daughter with the learning disability was being abused by some men in the 90s without my knowledge but the police could not prosecute because of her own thinking that her abusers were her best friends. Anyhow the Director of Public Prosecution refused to prosecute the case. Of course an abused woman with a mental age of 9 would believe her abusers and think they are her best friends.

I think what people need to realise is that improving education is always the way forward. There is no good reason to attack people and especially not me for suggesting it.

I think emotional involvement often leads to distortion of facts and people just do not see the reality of the situation any longer. That now applies especially to one of my daughters who – I believe – threatened me. That matter is with the police.

Whilst I raised my children we had to live – at some point with 7 people in a 2-bedroom council flat – but that should not have led to people losing faith.

I now care for my granddaughter who has excellent grades and wants to go to university. She is good at sport and has a totally different attitude to life. She has lived with me whilst my other children moved away and so she is not exposed to the muddled way of thinking that some of my daughters adopted.

Literally these days, to make it in life, kids really need to focus on education, push away all other influences that hinder a university degree. I am now more than willing to support that.

I don’t believe that keeping secrets helps anybody. Abuse and emtional turmoil always comes to haunt those who were exposed to it and so it is that I publish the facts about  me coming to Britain and how my life here went so far.

I think that everybody should have ambitions and dreams and do their best to fulfill them. Making things better in life is one of the reasons we all live and get on.

If you read through this story and arrived at this, you will be pleased to know that I am going to be 69 years of age this year and that I despise all those who generally accuse older people of suffering from dementia or Alzheimers and having a loss of mental capacity. Older people have a lot of wisdom to give and younger people are better off listening to it.

 

 

Can’t go back

Can completely understand the sentiments of the Durrell woman, who asked herself what she did wrong, when her kids displayed an attitude attributed to single mothers in the old days.

She loved her husband and was blessed by the fact that he had died whilst she still loved him. He must have been a good man.

It is very hard to raise kids with a husband in a cvilised society if that husband is a more than liberal dreamer.

My husband turned out to be one of those and had no discipline and no ambitions.

I don’t know what’s worst; mourning a loving husband or living with a total dreamer who is incapable of earning any money.

Better to have good memories than bad ones.

Not liking hot climates, going to Greece or south of the Alps is not an option. I stick it out in Britain, though my then divorced husband died years ago of cancer.

During my marriage I was always the disciplinarian. My husband didn’t mind his five children swinging on the handles of underground traines during long journeys through London, whilst I tried my best to get them to sit down.

His favourite modern song was ‘another brick in the wall‘ by Pink Flloyd in defiance of education.

That constant state of surrealistic freedom made it hard for the children to fit in. The memory of the father who allowed everything is overpowering.

Now expectations have changed, children have no choice but to make a working life the rule and looking back to the Hippie years of the baby boomers is not an option.

The influence of the father is always very strong and nothing is harder for a parent than to overcome a non-disciplined head of the family who can’t hold down a job.

Schools should teach children the rules of life and not just subjects in the sciences and art or drama. How to earn money, how to pay bills, how to navigate society are lessons some children do not learn at home.

I found that those kids who want to listen to sensible advice are the only ones making life succesful and understand that a career is the only way to improve one’s lot.

Family allegiance

I often hear it:

  • “Family is everything”.
  • “You need to stick together as a family”.

These principles are good if your type of family has lawful and productive rules and all the members of it keep to the terms and conditions of membership.

And, as I said in a pervious blog, professional organisations who call themselves a family, quite stringendly assess membership and make members pay membership fees and sign up to terms and conditions.

But, when it comes to the natural families, those people who live and re-produce and then whose children or even adults break the law or behave in a way that is considered as unpleasant by others, they suffer with a loss of reputation.

So how can natural families (by natureal I mean families who exist through emotional bonds rather than professional ones) protect themselves against members who turn out to damage the good family name?

We can hardly print a notice in the Times columns denouncing so and so as no longer being part of our family just like we can announce deaths and marriages or engagements.

A family is a non defined conglamorate unless it is a professional organisations with legally binding rules and conditions.

Perhaps it is time that emotional families actually also draw up contracts of who is a member and under what conditions, which is possible as long as that contract is lawful.

I am only making those distinctions, in case you are wondering, because some large organisations like British Swimming for example call members of the organisations members of their family.

I find it quite amazing how some parents stick to their children, regardless of how many times they break the law and they still visit them in jail and support them.

Family law for example defines the inheritance rules and there are few exeptions on which a person can be formally disinherited and a will cannot be challenged.

And as I said in a previous blog, as soon as a young person reaches maturity, family allegiance remains a choice rather than a obligation and seeing that now young people can make applications to be moved from their family home into care accomodation if they consider their family circumstances intolerable, I think that senior family members also can have the right to withdraw, financial and emotional support if their off-spring engage in activities that jeopardise important values.

What type of rules families set depends entirely on the values of the head of the family. Some families practise strict matriarchal or patriarchal control to the point of arranged marriages, which are now illegal in Britain.

Lets just think about general sensible things like giving children the chance of a good eduction and the children just show no interest in getting good grades and just don’t care about school attendance or looking to better themselves by means of education and professional development.

Yes the rules on school attendance have become stricter and parents can be prosecuted if their kids do not attend, but there are just such circumstances where parents have very little control over school attendance because the kids have just reached an age, where they can manipulate the communications process.

Years ago schools sent letters to homes when kids didn’t attend. Of course then children could simply bin those letters because the parents were at work it could take a parent months to find out the facts. And the older children were the longer it took schools to notify parents.

Now they send texts and they are harder to hide by anxious kids who want to live double-lives.

But you can argue that academic grades are not everything, true and accepted, but then there is still the matter of politeness and consent and discussion instead of just expecting parents and grandparents to support children and grandchildren forever regardless of what they do with their lives.

But it is what it is, the degree of defiance from young people is often framed into the legally possible. Once it’s gone over to the impossible is plainly criminal.

But the degree of support that parents then give to family members over the years is a total matter of choice.

I just think it is wrong of others to always assume that any person is part of some family they were born into as family allegiance is not part of the deal and not permanent.

 

Keeping it safe – the in-betweeners

It doesn’t matter whether its

  • Neo-nazis
  • Daesh
  • Extinction Rebellion
  • Left-wing rebels
  • Religious fanatics

They all have one thing in common. They want to destroy the current orderly organisation of society and after the breaking down of law and order implement their ideas of right and wrong.

If it wasn’t for the current furlough scheme, they would be a very big step ahead of their goals.

Whilst I keep going on about family and relationships it becomes more and more clear that in many instances, in our current modern society, ordinary working people spend less time living at the same place, working for the same employer, spending time with their family.

The average school kid these days spends around 8 hours per day in school and around 2 hours of that are used for communiting to and from school Then there are clubs and/or home work.

Whilst a parent or parents spend in excess of 8 hours working, commuting.

Very little time is actually spend together in the family unit. Kids use Apps, time online, TV watching, gaming, streaming, pod casts to entertain and form relationships away from the person to person communications among their nearest and dearest.

Extremists exploit those facts and recruit anybody who is slightly attracted to them by remote means.

The constant need to find accommodation, employment and fighting off debt collectors make building relationships very difficult indeed for a working person. And there is literally no means to actually check for truth beyond what a relative presents as truth. Remember the parents who got convictedof supporting their son’s time with Daesh, when he told them he went on a humanitarian holiday?

Long gone are the days of secure long-term tenancies in council flats, the job for life at the state owned service or local factory.

Yet the people who keep our economy going rely on short-term contracts, zero working hours to make their operatoin profitable and operational.

Whilst any abnormal event like for instance Covid-19 leads to the closing down of schools, which form the main social contact for children, the online world that recruits extremists keeps on going and never sleeps.

People now make it a habit ot organise some sort of demonstration, just to socialise with others, it has become a way of life.

Whilst law enforcement agencies are seriously behind keeping up with covert organisatoins recruting and training the new radicals, I cannot see modern governments actually being able to halt the discontent.

group of people eating together

Photo by fauxels on Pexels.com

The old-fashioned ideas of family, religion, have been replaced with modern legislation, which no longer puts morals or god at the forefront of their thinking.

There is no family unit that can catch up ideological uncertainties, no school that is always available and doesn’t expel delinquents, no church that actually translates old ideology into modern terms.

We are all in-betweeners. Trying to make sense of the morality of our bibles in comparison to modern laws and trying to find solace in our family units, which hardly have the time to have a meal together.

 

The consent with family

As I was ranting on about the term family being used for all kinds of amalgamations, I noticed that the distinct difference between family concepts is the matter of consent. Any child that is born into a family never gave consent for that in the first place but if you are part of a professional association that calls itself a family, you are there by consent.

Children born into families without their consent – the children’s – need to grow into the lifestyle they are encouraged to.

In our society, that means getting education and then professional development.

But, the matter of education will need consent from the child to participate in from the time, the kids can do so. If children go off the rails and refuse to attend school or get themselves into relationships, the parents do not consent to, then I would say that the relationship has broken down and parents no longer have any obligation to help out if things go pear-shaped. Of course there is the problem of providing abode for under-age kids.

I often hear that emotional black-mail that a child is part of the family but a family can only stay in tune and be successful if all members therein contribute positively to it.

Nowadays the law replaces family pressure, especially when it comes to a duty to attend education, which is provided by the state (unless parents pay for it privately). Regardless of who pays for schooling, the kids still need to attend. Parents can be held responsible and made to pay fines if children play truant.

photograph of a burning fire

Photo by moein moradi on Pexels.com

If a child stops attending education and gets involved in unlawful activities or anything that stops that education to result in qualifications then they are in fact in a breach of contract.

So, I don’t think that parents forever have to take the hot coals out of the fires that delinquent children have created.

Especially if that results in further off-spring with children being borne out of relationships the parents didn’t consent to in the first place.

There is no natural duty to be a parent forever regardless of what happens or what kids get themselves involved in.

Spending time

chocolates

Bought those chocolates as a gift for our consultant who operated on my daughter’s shoulder as a thank you. As all appointments have been moved to virtual and I even had to remove her stitches at home, I resigned to having those chocs for Easter.

Half that box has just over 800 calories and that is easily eaten in one day; at the end of which I felt a lot of energy and I exercised whilst sitting and watching the series of Criminal Mind on Amazon Prime Video.

It’s amazing what one can do without even having to leave one’s chair. Just have a small weight or full bottle and exercise the shoulders whilst leg muscles can get improved by simple movements whilst sitting down as well.

Of course streaming allows the occasional standing up and stretching.

The Criminal Mind films show how easily perpetrators can enter victim’s homes because people do not lock their doors and even often call out for perpetrators if they hear noises.

We have to become much more protective towards ourselves and do not allow others to enter our sphere’s so easily.

We once sat in our living room when suddenly the balcony door opened and some guy stood in our living room. My son recognised him as a neighbour and all ended well but from that day onward, (it happened some years ago) I never leave my balcony door open, not even for a moment. Always lock your doors. My front door closes automatically and is security enforced.

I didn’t even open my door when my neighbourhod knocked and offered me some grocery delivered by mistake and asking whether I wanted it.

Being cautious and careful is a new way of thinking, promoted by social distancing, we can think about picking up germs and problems from mixing with others.  I never enjoyed hugging, kissing and touching others for greeting purposes.

The social distancing must make a huge impact on drug dealing and the problems brought on by it. That is most welcome by all, I suppose.

I don’t know anybody affected by Corona Virus personally, it must be awful if you are affected.

I am keeping busy with online games like Scrabble and watching videos.

The family

group of people enjoying music concert

Photo by Leah Kelley on Pexels.com

Most of us start our lives in a family. Often we are told that the family is the most important thing in our lives and comes before everything. Really??? Are you watching East Enders? Have you heard about the Manson family? Have you watched the Irishman?

If your dad’s a crook and loves breaking the law, do you really have to stick with him through thick and thin? If your uncle is an abuser, do you reallly have to put up with it because he’s family?

If you do not want to become an actor but your family wants you to become a lawyer. Do you really have to please them?

Whatever values your birth family tries to instal in you, whether it’s religion, politics or ideology, do children really have to adopt to this?

Problem there is no real alternative. There is no real financial independence. It has been shown again and again that children who get into local authority care or even opt to be taken into care, easily get exploited by gangs. Those kids often get thrown out of local authority care aged 18 and pressured into the housing markets with rents that not even the regular kid, which still lives with their natural family, can afford.

Broadcasters lately push the term family to the hilts. In Strictly, we are all a dancing family and even in sport, we are a sporting family.

Using the term family for everything just shows a poverty of thought. It is so much easier to just call everything part of a family instead of going to the trouble and use the proper specialised term instead.

Why do we have scientific terms for birds for example if the broadcasting presenter can just call it all the bird family instead?

It’s plain lazy to call every group, tom, dick and harry a family.

For those who have been traumatised by their family at home, they certainly will get even more discouraged from enjoying hobbies or sports if it’s all part of a family, the family that bothered them in the first place.

We have organisations like the NSPCC and smacking of children has been outlawed in some regions for good reason. Yet, there are still large exploitation networks who prey on the vulnerable who do not have the family protection, which is the norm.

And there is the Human Rights Act, which protects the private and family life.

It’s all a lot to do with emotional and financial dependancy and what the mind-set of the carers is, how well a child can develop.

But being able to access outside information through mobile phones for example will help children to put what they experience at home in a context of the whole of society.

Those who condemn mobile phone use and Internet access for young children do not do them any favour.

I’ve heard a lady say that mobile phones are an evil addiction and have to be kept away from children. So are washing machines. I would like to take her’s away and see how she’s doing.

In yesterday’s Law and Order UK, a woman starved her grandmother to death to comply with the Catholic religion to avoid suicide. She could not be found guilty by a jury of murder. Yet, this is the reality of what goes on in families. With family members like that who needs enemies. What is important that young people get the ability to inform themselves of what is immoral and plainly wrong away from the poison their families teach them.

Sexual abuse in families is widespread, it is the reason that people like Weinstein think it is OK to just get naked with everybody. About one in five people are abused without realising that what they experience is abuse. They are brought up to see it as natural behaviour. Children often don’t see it as abuse and are not worried about it and would not talk to anyone about it as a concern. Therefore having Internat access probably will help children to realise that what is happening to them is not good.

Churches are a hotspot for child abuse. At least now some people from Jehova’s witnesses have collectively brought action against their church, who has a policy of not pursuing abuse in the church.

Luckily now half of all 10-year olds own smartphones, which may help them to realise what child abuse is and how to report it. Maybe those phones will lead to positive influencers, which children can follow.

 

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