Sefer Kehillat Shlomo

One of the biggest mysteries in my life is a Hebrew prayer book left to me from my late father’s estate. My father left around 1/4 Million in money but this book is of enormous value, not monetary but meaningful.

People like the Royal family always talk about their past, present, history and family connections, but for me, in my family, we never even talked about it. My mother’s family doesn’t come far from Coburg, which we visited when we went Germany a few years ago.

So, when I got that book into my possession, I started to think about my family history. At the time, around 2007, I put up the pictures of this Yeshayahu Vinograds on my Myspace account and someone from the Jewish Museum In Berlin gotten back to me to tell me what it was. In 2007, the Jewish Museum in Berlin said, they would be interested in the book, which was printed in 1750 by Chajim Ben Zwi Hirsch.

As you all know my life went up-side down, because after my father’s death, and my appointment as LEA school governor, all these rumours started to appear online and also I spent 3 years at the Royal Courts of Justice with the only legal case I’ve ever lost. And so, I forgot about the book.

I spoke to a friend about it a couple of days ago, who advised me to go to the London Jewish Museum in Camden with this but as my father was from Berlin I thought that the Berlin Museum would be a better place.

The writing says: “Walter’s Hebr√§isches Gebetbuch”, translated: Walter’s Hebrew prayer book.

I started wondering, how is it possible, that a man who is listed as Lutheran in all my paperwork about my father, had a Jewish prayer book in his possession. The thought, that he could have taken it off a Jewish victim in World War II came into my mind and horrified me. The inscription on the bag at least seems to indicate that the prayer book actually belonged to a family member and wasn’t taken off a Jewish victim in World War II.

So, that implies that one of my father’s brothers had a Hebrew prayer book and that it belonged to him. So I now wonder, whether there was a hidden Jewish past in my family, which was concealed because that was the only way for them to survive. Incidentally Walter was drafted in as soldier in Word War II, along all my father’s brothers and my father was the only one of the brothers to survive the war.

I posted pictures of my father’s family, whom I never met some time ago on Facebook and nobody at all came forward as recognising the people in it. I can’t find a picture of Walter but only Paul. So I post the family pictures, which I think as significant and I would be grateful if anybody at all could come forward with some information if possible.

This is my father’s brother Paul and Paul is also the brother of Walter, to whom the prayer book belonged. My friend told me yesterday that there is actually a medal on the German Nazi uniform. Quite, interesting that the brother of somebody who owned a Hewbrew prayer book, gotten a commendation from the Nazis. Picture taken on 29. December 1943, Paul was killed shortly after.

Dance in Berlin, no date on picture, I think the lady in the front behind the girl with white hairband, is my father’s mother or the grandmother I never met.

That is a family snap from my father’s family. He is the one in the specs and the lady behind him is his mother, seen in the previous pic at the dance. I think that Walter might be one person on that picture here too but I don’t know who.

As it is, I think it is something hard to live with, that all I got are a lot of pictures of people I never met or knew about whilst my father was alive.

In today’s age, people should no longer be afraid to be Jewish and if anybody in those pictures recognise themselves, please contact me and also if anybody knowing any of these people could please contact me.

I have posted previously about accusations my sister made about my father, I have not heard anything about this at all yet. But it seems that the after-effect of the war had a very long-lasting impact on my family and that nobody ever talked about, made it much harder to copy with it.

I think there was something going on, I still do not know about. The fact that my father or my mother never spoke about the war or family and what went on is very mysterious.

But putting this all in the context that I always had problems to find a political and spiritual home, it makes double sense now that all these rumours about me started after my father’s death and that prominent Labour politicians, were involved in it.

I tried four political parties in all, The Labour Party, the Conservative Party, The Communist Party and Respect. I spend very little time with both Communist or Respect.

The Labour Party refused my second membership application shortly after I posted about attending a Jewish prayer service for Holocaust day. Wonder whether there is a connection.

Whatever for the moment, I am not politically bound and like this more because there is more than politics to life. I think it is good to try out political parties, people shouldn’t be afraid to do it, to experience first hand what political parties are like. There is never a minimum membership with any party, you can come and go as you like.

I like doing something useful for everyone, and that is what we all should do.

Unforgotten

Watched this new series shown on ITV with interest. I generally now watch much more ITV than BBC. But what this Unforgotten series really shows is, and I really should post this on my Neighbourhood Watch blog instead, is, that those who ask you to ‘not grass’ are not your friends but your enemies.

Only wrongdoers ask you not to grass.

Even if you think that you have made it, nobody ever finds out about your sins, you are mistaken.

Then you set up your life, get into respectable ways of life, all with a crime hanging over you and you have kids, a partner and all rely upon each other, because that is what we do, we prop each other up in relationships.

But then, the wrongdoing comes out and everything goes up in smoke. Your kids, your partner, all who rely on you suffer from the previous wrong-doing, that you thought stayed undetected.

And talking of forgotten, from all the films I am watching it’s the criminals who kill and bury their own members in unknown locations, so that nobody ever finds them.

It’s those on the side of the law who get remembered.

So, as a principle, I fully support everybody who wants to report wrongdoing and crime, even anonymously as it has a chain-reaction, that wrong-doing and it ruins lives.

Having a very peaceful time

Christmas flowers

This Christmas is turning out a major source of rest and peace for us. I love it when shops are closed on Boxing Day, as it used to be. This closure emphasizes the restful period we have.

Putting up Christmas lights makes the house look warm and cosy. That’s what I love most about Christmas, which I now see as a festival to break up the long boring winter.

All the people wishing me Happy Christmas mean well and I thank them very much.

I actually managed to get my daughter to like Christmas Pudding this year. Bought only a small, one portion one and with double cream it tasted good.

Again this year, I went for a fruity theme. More fruit than cake and sweets.

I would love to share this wonderful time- at least remotely with my other children and grandchildren but can’t force them to contact me. There is plenty of opportunity to use Teams or other applications but they just don’t seem to want to need me at Christmas.

I do not want to buy their love with gifts. I think gifts should be an expression of feeling good about each other and not a bribe. So, I have not bought any gifts for my kids and grand kids from whom I didn’t hear anything all year, with the exception of some abusive phone calls.

Whatever brings one of my children to do that, I do not know but I can’t help those who do not want to be helped.

I’ve always done my utmost to assist. Whatever makes children not need their parents any longer is beyond me. I thought it is part of the natural human nature to try and stay connected with relatives. Most of us can’t help thinking about their parents, their childhood, their youth and all the stages of life. So why try to cut it out of one’s memory.

No home-made cake for me this year. Trying to keep up the good weight..

Surely my grandchildren will be asking their parents where the grand mother or father is and I really do not know what my kids tell their children why I can’t see them. I have not come to the bottom of this yet, why all my kids do no longer want to be in contact with me. I certainly haven’t done anything dreadful to them.

Perhaps because my grandchildren are all still quite young as I started having children quite late in life, they can’t make their own enquiries yet. But once they get older, the Internet must be leaving some clues.

Emotional turmoil

I think the latest Eastenders could be more favourable towards the police’s efforts to root out crime. The investigating officer is shown in a bad light, using threats of intimitation towards a junior officer who is romantically inolved with the son of the most serious criminal, Phil Mitchell, head of the Albert Square family crime syndicate.

It makes it clear that it is impossible to have a deep relationship with a criminal whilst at the same time being a serving police officer.

Yet, the constant reminders in the media that we all have to stick to our family would not make it easier for those who wish to distance themselves from crime family backgrounds because if you are supposed to be part of your family but your family is deeply inolved with crime, how are you supposed to be a law-abiding citizen?

Please British media, put your thinking cap on. Change the constant dribble of family allegiance towards a more sustainable campaign that allows individuals to make a choice and choose lawful coexistance rather than allegiance to a criminal empire.

Business must make money but around Christmas time especially the idea the media help at the moment is making people buy more gifts for the family to help the economy at the cost of law and order in cases that stipulate supporting crime families rather than useful individuals who have chosen to buy less gifts for criminal family members.

In that context it is almost impossible for a young person who wants to move out of the family home to do so nowadays, as the laws have changed. There is no more support available. Bad lack for those who are forced to live in families with questionable taste for crime.

The family man

Phil Mitchell from East Enders is a proper family man. I just wonder whether there is a psychological mechanism that compels people wanting to be in control of blood related people.

It would frighten me if someone came up to me, saying we are related and that we have to be friends.

I think a connection between people has more to do with common cause.

A lot of crime gets committed in the name of family. More people get murdered by someone they know than by a stranger. Strong emotional bonds seem a recipe for disaster.

Family members covering for each other, providing alibis or planting evidence against others whom they find repulsive for purely emotional reasons.

As a mum or dad you do not have a life-long obligation to your kids. If you have a good relationship fine but if you drift apart, have little to say to each other, then you are not obliged to be there to supply gifts for birthdays or Christmas for the rest of your days.

learned behaviour

I am thinking a lot about family obligations lately.

To explain this imagine three scenarios.

  1. Your family is Mafia and you learn how to grow up in that and you have to stick to your family and support them no matter what or you get killed
  2. Your family is police and you see your parent put on that uniform every day and you learn keeping up the law is all that matters.
  3. Your family runs a business and you learn to think about profits and losses and how to make people buy your products.

Everything in between is a mix of those.

There is a lot of underlying crime about and I think it is difficult for kids who are not trained from the start either to be maker/seller criminals or law enforcers to find a way to recognise what is right or wrong these days.

Just read that some Apps like Snapchat are now used to sell drugs. Kids tend to have to learn and once they made the mistake they know it doesn’t work.

I think much more should be done to explain to kids where the dangers are.

Perhaps in schools there should be one lesson per day and good advice on what to avoid and how not to fall for dangers, which are not apparent to anyone unless they’ve made the mistake.

 

the rogue family

watched a few episodes of‘the Durrells‘. and my hair stood up and curled. A mother takes her kids to Crete to escape British justice and the Greeks were more than welcoming.

The family gotten a free house.

There are some very charming and nice aspects to this series, like the little boy who likes nature and studies animals. Obviously a remote island is a perfect place for that.

But then there is the son who tends to get into trouble. He has this shot gun and eventually gets accussed of shooting a farmer’s turkeys. He then leaves the family home to join a gang of criminals, who employ him to shoot off the lock of a storage facility.

wild turkey

Photo by ASHISH SHARMA on Pexels.com

Whilst the farmer failed to provide evidence of poaching of his turkeys, the judge was very sympathetic towards the Durrells and awarded them six turkeys the farmer had to supply them with.

But the allegation of the robbery was then thrown out because the mother sold her wedding ring to bribe the gang to state that the Durrell son was in fact not taking part.

This was all portrait as perfectly acceptable. The mother even gotten her wedding back from a local honoray figure – with a smile.

I just hate stuff like that. The son, then back with the family, and still trying to be up to the old tricks, had to be constantly watched. That took away a lot of resources the family could have used for positive family activities. Instead of having to play carers and behaviour police all the time, they could have played games, learned or studied instead or spent quality time visiting local theatres.

Bribery is one of the reasons why I would not want my children to mix with rich kids because if rich kids get themselves in trouble in schools, their parents can get their own children out of trouble by donating large sums into the school. But the poor kid, which gotten mixed up with problems, simply gets all the blame.

The rich kid, whose parent bribed the school, probably ends up being prime minister.

The matter of family bribery is very serious and we have to be better than the Mafia.

Evil sisters

As in yesterday’s post hinted, girls can become enslaved and/or exploited through other girls. The Cora story showed that it was actually her ‘disabled’ poorly sister that got her into male relationships to make money for a dream holiday. Cora was always made to feel responsible for her sister’s disability and probably complied to not disappoint her poorly sister further.

In my relationship with my sister, I was the more disabled one but she was the one who gotten me into the trouble-some problems.

My sister was short of evil. She had a relationship with my dad, and then has countless lovers all over her holiday stays. She goes on holiday at least 3 times per year. She now suffers from nerves in her old age. She must be nearly 80 now.

My sister is responsible for me losing my virginity at just above age 16. She literally took me on a holiday to Yugoslavia and organised men to make love both to her and me. I never had sex previously and was totally not expecting this and after that first encounter refused to take part.

Yet that casual attitude to sex and the sickening attitude towards it is responsible why I moved out from home. I wanted to get away from the bad atmosphere.

My sister is not only responsible for losing my virginity but also for me starting to smoke.

She took me on a holiday to Yugoslavia and organised a bloke to make love to me, whilst she had another guy and she did it anywhere, in Fig orchards in broad daylight.

I was naive and the guy took me to the beach at night and then insisted on seeing my towel to proof that he took my virginity. I am now wondering whether he gave my sister money for it.

After that I refused any further attempts from blokes my sister introduced me to.

She did this all her life, having boyfriends and not being able to conceive because she had her womb removed due to an ectopic pregnancy, whilst she had a relationship with a married man, she could carry on like that all her life and keep lovers at holiday destinations. They kept on writing her letters and tried to let them come to Germany to stay with her from Greece or the like but she never allowed them to come. She just went to another destination next time.

She kept a consignment of wigs because men would follow her to work, as she worked behind the counter at the post office.

So what I am trying to say, that if you are exposed to bad influences from your own family, then you have little chance of overcoming that. And if your family is supposed to be respectable, you have nowhere to turn to as you have to keep the secrets.

Especially as school hours in Germany were much shorter, it was only a half-day ending at around 13.00. You are then exposed much longer to bad parents or evil siblings.

My mother was totally depessed and an alcoholic whilst my sister was a man-eating nympth. I don’t even think she was a victim of my dad, as she wanted sex whenever she could and even moved 2 floors up, so she could be together with my dad. She never complained about it to police (as far as I know).

I don’t even care if my sister – who is still alive – reads this because the burden of knowing this and nothing ever having been done about it, is just about too much for me to carry around.

The ‘MeToo’ movement seems to care a lot about abuse and exploitation in the work place but I have never been exploited in the workplace I had to cope with incest (even though I didn’t know it at the time) and a sex made sister who gotten me into bad habits.

I think you just don’t talk about that out of embarrassment but I really do not care any longer. My sister severely critised me for getting married and having children. And even though it wasn’t a respectable (respectable in her view) marriage to a rich man, at least it was a marriage and it was decent – from my part of it – and the children borne were not perfect but we did our best.

My sister now refuses to speak with me because I lived on benefits mostly, since I got married, but really what is bad about having some morals? My sister even wanted to prevent me from getting my share of my father’s inheritance and tried to make me agree that my share gets paid to her; she is a money-grabbing no-good sister.¬† I had to fight her lawyer for months to get my share of the money.

She has tons of money and sits on it. I reckon she should pay the state for all the benefits they had to fork out for me claiming all those years as it is her who produced a lot of the trauma.

I think my life in Britain would have gone different would I have been able to have a normal relationships with my sister and family. As it was, I just had kids with a husband who was work-shy. He only loved films.

We have very few children in our German family, everybody was always working and nobody had any kids.

I am now not interested in any type of relationships to do with intimacy with anyone. I suppose I would not have had much interest in sex ever, would it not have been for my sister introducing me to it.

I just know that any trouble I gotten myself into in my life was because I needed to get away from home and that gotten my into contact with people I shared flats with and met whilst trying to find jobs and getting settled. You just couch-surf to have somewhere to sleep.

Perhaps our crime-rates today are partially due to bad family relationships, which breed anti-social behaviour in people.

Of course the law has forbidden forced marriage and domestic violence but what happened to me is not against the law unless somebody complains about it.

But in many families keeping to the letter of the law is not the first priority. If it was society would be in a better state than it is.

 

Morals as fashion item

Morals really are the fashion of the times and rules of ‘acceptable’ morals are usually set by the ruling classes.

For centuries morals were dictated by biblical terms. The permanent marriage between man and woman were promoted by Christians and Muslims.

The inability to fit in with the requirements to marry and have kids and stay in that relationship for live brought on many social complications. Those fancying the same sex partners for example or those needing gender changes because somebody important wanted them in another role rather than their traditional marriage commitments.

It’s often not quite apparent that the ruling classes make the rules. At the moment Western society moves away from fixed matrimony. Because top-society people feel better in equal relationships all our laws are now changing towards equality all around.

Women can now have kids and work. That of course gives men a much better chance to pick new partners and change more often.

In the past, when women were tied to their homes, men found it harder to get good quality new partners. They either had the marital sex or had to look for paid for girls. But now, when they have a big playing field in the work-place to choose from, that latter option becomes more obsolete, though not completely unimportant.

And the desire for changing partners is not just led by men, woman are also supporting that option.

I just don’t understand why women find that necessarily ideal.

Heinz-soldierLooking at my own dad. He was the kind of guy who liked women but he liked the feeble, nimble and pretty type. He didn’t like the child-bearing obligations a lot. The detective Lauri, in the Deadwind series I am currently watching on Netflix, reminds me of my dad a lot, they even look very similar. My dad was a very good-looking guy.

Unfortunately for him, he was sent to Norway by the Nazis and had to work with heavy water and that kind of messed up his sperm. There is almost nothing more embarassing in Britain today than having a relative who once wore a Nazi uniform. Just realise my dad’s dog looks a bit like the pooch that the detective, played by Neil Dudgeon , in Midsommer Murders has.

But also the relationship that Karppi has with her son, whose become a bully at school and Karppi, telling him that she will always support him. There I am doubting how far that support can go as with detectives, they naturally need to keep the law. Lauri broke off his relationship to his drug-addicted girlfriend because he could not have had a friend with drugs staying at his flat.

Lauri says he never wants to be a father to a child but now has become a father but he also kissed Karppi with the two children.

Men are sometimes mixed up about relationships and obligations.

So women now can decide to have abortions. I have had two myself because at the time I thought that the quality of life those two babies would have had was too low as they were conceived on the move. I had moved out from home, was couch surving and not fixed for a career. I wanted to be married at least and that’s what I did. Actually I did not want to have children at all at first.

So now we come again to family allegiance. And this law and order hinge makes a good case of how much allegiance you actually can and should have to your family, if they for example are breaking the law. Would it not destroy your life if you supported family members, just because you were born in a crime family?

Equally family secrets can totally mess a person up. My advice is don’t have them, so nobody can blackmail you.

If you support your kids when they do wrong, it does not help them to see the error of their ways. They get encouraged more in their wrong-doing than to do the right thing.

 

 

the young people of tomorrow

protest-bannerTower Hamlets is doing its best to close down public services like schooling for children. There are various applications in the council to close and amalgamate schools.

A recent TV report claimed that Tower Hamlets moves homeless families up north but that the councils there do not get informed of the new arrivals. So if they don’t know how can they make enough school provision?

Incidentally when my daughter had been homeless – because her violent partner had smashed up her flat – we went to Westminster and Chelsea council and they said they send their homeless to Tower Hamlets.

Moving on is the motto these days. The poor working classes are moved on relentless and getting a secure tenancy is like gold dust.

Children will become much more flexible in their approach because they need to take in that education whilst they get it. When I was young we used to have the same teachers in the same schools for life but now it’s constantly new teachers and constantly moving on.

People are strongly discouraged now to have kids whilst on benefits but only a few decades ago, women were encouraged to stay at home and have kids.

Those kids born in the 80s needed a lot of schools. Now, with benefits being cut and employment encouraged for all genders, the amount of schools needed is reduced.

But with the large increase of an older population, who is going to keep the country going if not the young people of tomorrow?

I think this government is playing with this country as every country needs a strong younger generation to carry the flag.

Whilst people with jobs like Boris Johnson can father various children with various women, those on low incomes can hardly afford one child. But then if a richer guy fathers various children with different women, the sheer amount of maintenance will reduce the quality of life for all of them.

I know because one of my daughters has two children with a guy who also has two other women who have his children.

Those changes in the set-up of standards will greatly affect the nation. On one hand, we’ve got the Royal Family cast in stone. Permanent marriages with permanent partners and on the other hand we got – the Prime Minister included – the folks who constantly change partners and have kids with whoever they meet.

On top of that are children borne from surrogacies.

For a grandparent like myself, that priviledge now only exists on paper because with constantly changing relationships the amount of various children from various partners all make a great big mix, which I did not sign up for and I doubt that most grandparents can afford to maintain gifts to all those extended families over a long period of time.

 

Previous Older Entries

Blog Stats

  • 55,012 hits
%d bloggers like this: