The family

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Most of us start our lives in a family. Often we are told that the family is the most important thing in our lives and comes before everything. Really??? Are you watching East Enders? Have you heard about the Manson family? Have you watched the Irishman?

If your dad’s a crook and loves breaking the law, do you really have to stick with him through thick and thin? If your uncle is an abuser, do you reallly have to put up with it because he’s family?

If you do not want to become an actor but your family wants you to become a lawyer. Do you really have to please them?

Whatever values your birth family tries to instal in you, whether it’s religion, politics or ideology, do children really have to adopt to this?

Problem there is no real alternative. There is no real financial independence. It has been shown again and again that children who get into local authority care or even opt to be taken into care, easily get exploited by gangs. Those kids often get thrown out of local authority care aged 18 and pressured into the housing markets with rents that not even the regular kid, which still lives with their natural family, can afford.

Broadcasters lately push the term family to the hilts. In Strictly, we are all a dancing family and even in sport, we are a sporting family.

Using the term family for everything just shows a poverty of thought. It is so much easier to just call everything part of a family instead of going to the trouble and use the proper specialised term instead.

Why do we have scientific terms for birds for example if the broadcasting presenter can just call it all the bird family instead?

It’s plain lazy to call every group, tom, dick and harry a family.

For those who have been traumatised by their family at home, they certainly will get even more discouraged from enjoying hobbies or sports if it’s all part of a family, the family that bothered them in the first place.

We have organisations like the NSPCC and smacking of children has been outlawed in some regions for good reason. Yet, there are still large exploitation networks who prey on the vulnerable who do not have the family protection, which is the norm.

And there is the Human Rights Act, which protects the private and family life.

It’s all a lot to do with emotional and financial dependancy and what the mind-set of the carers is, how well a child can develop.

But being able to access outside information through mobile phones for example will help children to put what they experience at home in a context of the whole of society.

Those who condemn mobile phone use and Internet access for young children do not do them any favour.

I’ve heard a lady say that mobile phones are an evil addiction and have to be kept away from children. So are washing machines. I would like to take her’s away and see how she’s doing.

In yesterday’s Law and Order UK, a woman starved her grandmother to death to comply with the Catholic religion to avoid suicide. She could not be found guilty by a jury of murder. Yet, this is the reality of what goes on in families. With family members like that who needs enemies. What is important that young people get the ability to inform themselves of what is immoral and plainly wrong away from the poison their families teach them.

Sexual abuse in families is widespread, it is the reason that people like Weinstein think it is OK to just get naked with everybody. About one in five people are abused without realising that what they experience is abuse. They are brought up to see it as natural behaviour. Children often don’t see it as abuse and are not worried about it and would not talk to anyone about it as a concern. Therefore having Internat access probably will help children to realise that what is happening to them is not good.

Churches are a hotspot for child abuse. At least now some people from Jehova’s witnesses have collectively brought action against their church, who has a policy of not pursuing abuse in the church.

Luckily now half of all 10-year olds own smartphones, which may help them to realise what child abuse is and how to report it. Maybe those phones will lead to positive influencers, which children can follow.

 

Integrate mobile phone use, don’t ban them

the forbidden fruit syndrom is often a reason why children want excessive access to phones when they are supposed to be sleeping because there is no time during the day to use phones constructively and usefully.

Schools forbid them, then there is home-work and play time and then there is bed-time, which is the only time to catch up on the social networking.

Because children cannot get a useful relationship with their phone for school use, they tend to get driven towards those awful apps that can have a negative effect on them.

At least some schools already integrate tablets with school work but often tablets and phones use the same apps.

Coding is a very important skill and cannot be taught early enough, teaching kids how to create apps can never start early enough. Get them to do it in nursery.

Since a lot of home work and learning material is already online schools should really modernise up very fast to improve the situation.

Children will be much less likely to access their phones secretly and during the night, when they can use them during the day with good purposes, e.g. for school work and in school.

Why push phones into the undesirable category when all adults use them all the time?

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